Why Girls Often Get Better Grades Than Boys (And What It Has to Do with Self-Discipline!)

If you’ve ever wondered why girls tend to bring home better report cards than boys, even though they score similarly or even lower on standardized tests, you’re not alone! Researchers Angela Lee Duckworth and Martin E.P. Seligman dug into this very question in their study, “Self-Discipline Gives Girls the Edge: Gender in Self-Discipline, Grades, and Achievement Test Scores.”

Their findings are surprising and point to a factor that often gets overlooked in school evaluations: self-discipline.

This article explores the fascinating ways self-discipline influences academic success, why girls often excel in this area, and what parents can take away from these insights.

How Self-Discipline Was Measured in the Study

To understand how self-discipline impacted grades, Duckworth and Seligman studied a group of eighth-graders at an urban school.

They used multiple ways to measure self-discipline:

• Delay of Gratification Tests: In these tests, students could choose a small reward immediately or wait for a larger reward later. Kids who could wait showed higher self-discipline.
• Self-Reports: Students filled out surveys about their habits and behaviors to give insight into their level of self-discipline.
• Teacher and Parent Ratings: Teachers and parents also shared their observations on each student’s ability to focus, control impulses, and follow through with tasks.

This mix of methods gave a well-rounded picture of each student’s self-discipline, and the results were clear: girls consistently scored higher than boys on all measures of self-discipline.

Why Girls’ Self-Discipline Leads to Higher Grades (and What It Means for Parents)

Because girls tend to be more self-disciplined, they’re better at managing homework, completing assignments on time, and staying organized. These habits translate directly into better grades. But here’s the twist: when it came to standardized achievement tests, girls only did slightly better than boys, and on IQ tests, boys sometimes scored higher.

The takeaway here is not that boys are “less smart” but that traditional grades rely heavily on self-discipline, an area where girls typically have an edge. This insight is important for parents to understand because it shifts the focus from raw intelligence to behaviors that support learning. Encouraging boys to develop better habits in organization, perseverance, and attention could help close this academic gap.

Encouraging Self-Discipline at Home: Practical Tips for Parents

Self-discipline isn’t just something kids are born with—it can be developed!

Here are a few ways parents can help cultivate this valuable trait in their children, whether they’re girls or boys:

• Set Small Goals and Build Up: Encourage your child to set small, achievable goals, like completing a homework assignment within a certain timeframe or studying for a set amount of time each day.
• Reward Delayed Gratification: Try fun challenges that reward waiting, such as offering a small treat for finishing a task or doubling the reward if they can wait a bit longer. This can build patience and help them understand the benefits of delaying gratification.
• Model Self-Discipline: Kids learn a lot by example. Show them how you stay focused on tasks, manage your time, and avoid distractions, and talk about why these habits are important.
• Create a Structured Environment: Consistency helps kids develop good habits. Having a set homework time, a quiet study space, and regular routines can support their self-discipline over time.

By focusing on self-discipline, parents can help their children develop skills that will support their academic success and personal growth for years to come.

Final Thoughts: Balancing Academic Expectations with Life Skills

Duckworth and Seligman’s study on self-discipline and grades opens the door to a broader conversation about what academic success truly means. While grades are important, they’re not the only indicator of a child’s potential. As parents, focusing on building self-discipline and resilience in children may help them perform well in school and develop lifelong skills that will serve them in countless ways.

Encouraging kids to take pride in their efforts, persevere through challenges, and manage their time well can be as valuable as any A+ on a report card.

Ultimately, it’s not only about raising kids who get good grades but about raising kids who are prepared for the real world.